WALT: Record observations of our environment by showing not telling
This is my autumn draft that I wrote, I added in some of my senses, this activity was really fun to make. I felt calmness and joyfulness when I wrote this piece of writing.
Hi Kyah! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. WOW! Your piece of writing is great! I really loved the way that you have added in so much descriptive language in your writing, I can definitely feel your piece of writing.
This reminds me of when I had to do present tense writing, or descriptive writing, because you have to use all of your five senses to describe the setting around you. Present tense is surprisingly really hard to write in, have you heard of it before? It's pretty much where you have to write as if it's happening in that moment.
For example, if it said 'The trees swayed to the slow whistle of the wind' it would become 'The tree's sway to the slow whistle of the wind', interesting right?
To improve, remember your punctuation! If you do that, everything will be awesome :).
Hi Kyah! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. WOW! Your piece of writing is great! I really loved the way that you have added in so much descriptive language in your writing, I can definitely feel your piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of when I had to do present tense writing, or descriptive writing, because you have to use all of your five senses to describe the setting around you. Present tense is surprisingly really hard to write in, have you heard of it before? It's pretty much where you have to write as if it's happening in that moment.
For example, if it said 'The trees swayed to the slow whistle of the wind' it would become 'The tree's sway to the slow whistle of the wind', interesting right?
To improve, remember your punctuation! If you do that, everything will be awesome :).
Great work!
Mia